[WP] Magic is in the process of being rediscovered.  You have just found a protection enchantment that sounds suspiciously like “Hold My Beer”. 

I murmured the words softly to myself:
“Ancient elder gods, I call on thee. Torgath. Shenron. Gibbles. Protect this chalice for me.”
Nothing happened save for a draft flickering my dying candle. Strange. I closed the book softly and retired to my bed.

The next day some of the anthropology and archeology staff went out to the bar because it was Friday and the only spell we got to work was one to produce a small frog.  
“Man, he’s a friendly lil guy” Professor Stevens said. The frog sat perched on his shoulder, bobbing it’s head to the beat of Journey’s “Seperate Ways”.  
“I think he likes the music” I laughed and shoveled some chips into my mouth. A twinge told me it was time to relieve myself in the dive bar’s dark bathroom.

 “Stevens, can you hold this beer for me? No roofies, please.”  
“Why don’t you ask — what was it — Torgath and something else…” 
“Hah!” I laughed and held my arms up theatrically, beer in one hand.
“Ancient elder gods, I call on thee. Torgath. Shenron. Gibbles. Protect this chalice for me.”
I set the chalice on the bar and started to walk away when I heard someone scream and drop a glass. I looked back and stared at a 8-foot reptilian hominid with black armor standing by my beer and holding a halberd. It used it to push back my friends as it snarled. It looked to me and hissed:
“Ssssssummoner. I will remain here and protect your drink.” It waved a massive scaled hand over the beer and a light white layer of frost encased the glass and some of the bar.  
“And it sssssshall remain cold for you. It issssss sssssafe to attend to your businessssss. I am the sssservant of the elderssss and you, powerful one.”  
The bar was silent except for Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades”.  
A massive popping sound filled the air and suddenly the same woman from before screamed again as a giant Koala-man appeared on the opposite end of the bar, clad in gold armor and pointing his sword at me.
“FOOL! You have summoned the minion of Shenron and Gibbles!” I stared in confusion as the reptilian darted across the bar and slammed his halberd into the koala-knight. The impact forced all the bar patrons back with a whooshing wind and immense pressure.  
“The battle for the end times has begun. You have chosen your side.” The knight kicked the reptile back and prepared for his attack.  
“Now fight, Mage!”

I stood frozen in horror as the Golden Koala-Knight lunged foward toward me, low to the ground.  The reptilian was still recovering from being knocked back as I stared at my impending doom.

The loudest ribbet I have ever heard thundered in the enclosed space of the bar.  The Koala and Reptile both froze, and everyone stared as the frog we had summoned before leapt from Professor Stevens’ shoulder and transformed into a frog-hominid.  An immaculate white robe and hood covered it, and the robe seemed to emanate its own light in the dark bar.

“YOU!” Koala and Reptile shouted in unison.

“Yes, me.” Frog croaked.  “End this foolishness or you shall both be banished back into the Hidden Realm.”  Without hesitation both combatants yielded with a bow.  

“Who… Are you?” I sputtered.  The rest of the bar patrons had fled, save for Stevens and I.  It was surprising that no one had stayed videotaping this for Worldstar Hip-hop.

“I am Torgath’s Great Priest.  I know you don’t know who that is, but it doesn’t matter quite yet.  What does matter is that we hold a summit of all of your magical researchers so I can lay out some ground rules for this age of prophecy.  I didn’t do this before because, frankly, you are all inept.  Well, not you.”  He looked at me with those strange sideways eyes.  “You are different, somehow.  Are you descended from elves?”

“What?” I whispered.  “I’m from Florida.” 
“Yes, of course.  Flawreeda.”  The frog chuckled to himself.  “Well, come with me.  He touched my shoulder with one webbed hand and touched his temple with the other.  The world around me seemed to fade away into static, trembling and twitching and then just white surrounded us.  

We appeared in the center court of the Hidden Kingdom, surrounded by animal-peoples and forgotten races.  But I didn’t notice this until I finished vomiting my fish and chips out onto an ancient mosaic that was older than humanity.  

“I’m sorry.”  My apology echoed out to scattered chuckles.  

“It’s nothing, child.”  The Frog-priest waved his hand and the mess vanished with a pop.  

I stood and stared at the impossible gathering of impossible creatures.  I felt dizzy as one immense creature stood with a whoosh of wind, easily 80 feet tall.

“So this is the one who performed the drink protection enchantment?” A loud scoff.  “I cannot sense any magical energy in him.”  

“It doesn’t matter if you can sense it or not” Frog-priest chastised. “He performed the spell and the two great warriors nearly began the end times.  AGAIN.”

Small murmurs erupted into a cacaphony of shouts and questions and statements.

“Kill him!  Prevent the end times!”

“Destroy their world to save ours!”

“Conquer them!”

The Frog-priest waved his hand.  Silence came before he finished its arc.  

“He must face the trials.  We shall see if their world will live.  He is the strongest Mage they have.  He will decide the fate of his world.” I stared in horror.

“Wait, what?”

One thought on “[WP] Magic is in the process of being rediscovered.  You have just found a protection enchantment that sounds suspiciously like “Hold My Beer”. 

  1. Pingback: Tales of a Travelling Salesman

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